


Teach me how to love you

by BasicallyKorekiyoShinguji



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/F, F/M, Hajime is a dad friend, Intrusive Thoughts, Isolation, Kiibouma-centric, Kinda, Kokichi-centric, M/M, Oma Kokichi Is a Mess, Post-Canon, Shuichi and Kokichi are not friends sorry, Slow Burn, So much angst, Suicide mentions, Therapy, everything you'd expect honestly, neither of them know how to feelings, really bad coping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28783248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallyKorekiyoShinguji/pseuds/BasicallyKorekiyoShinguji
Summary: Kokichi and his "classmates" wake up on an island full of unfamiliar faces, all saying they had their own game and that everything is better now. Kokichi had to decide whether or not he will trust these new people and if he will give himself the chance he deserves.That's cheesy but I swear its good lmao
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, K1-B0/Oma Kokichi, Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, mostly canon typical ships
Comments: 13
Kudos: 48





	1. prequel

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! if you are here from my other works then welcome back! if you are here from tiktok,,, uh pls don't judge me to much. Anyway, I won't sit here babbling, I hope you like the story and if you want to talk to me then drop a comment! Those and kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also this is completely unbetaed so bear with me lol

…

“Kokichi!”

The boy in question looked up to the other and frowned. Kiibo looked back at him with a scolding look before practically snatching the mug from him and saying, “You can’t put hot sauce in Kaito’s cup! He is our guest, be nice.”

Kokichi practically flopped onto the table with a groan. His boyfriend was being extra prickly today, all because his friends from college were over for a dinner party. All Kokichi had wanted to do was prank the stupid jock who decided to make fun of the nail polish he was wearing. Nail polish that Kokichi had spent two hours making look good just for this party mind you.

All this party was for, was to get Kokichi to meet new people. He thought it was pretty dumb, he was never one for friends. He had Kiibo, Korekiyo, Rantaro, Kaede and his cat (snowball) that was all he needed. 

Korekiyo and Rantaro were kind enough to push their latest trip back a bit to come, but Kaede couldn’t make it and everybody else were people Kiibo knew. His boyfriend had promised they were not all robotics majors, Kokichi tended to get lost listening to talk about it. He claimed to have met them in his core classes in his first two years, so it's a “wide array” of people. That “array” including some internally homophobic jock who didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut or his hands off his boyfriend.

From what Kokichi had gathered, each person had a very interesting major and were considered the ultimate of it in highschool. The boyfriend spoken of earlier, Shuichi Saihara, was a meek guy that liked to hide behind his hat, majoring in forensics. The large man that could barely fit in the love seat that Kiibo had bought from their neighbors, was Gonta Gokuhara, a major in entomology. The stern looking woman who was currently messing with Shuichi fondly was Maki Harukawa, she majored in pediatrics apparently. Then finally, there was Kaito Momota, the man of the hour that everybody seemed to love being around, he majored in astrophysics.

Even Korekiyo, who was never quick to warm up to people, seemed to enjoy being around the loud guy.

Kokichi was rolling his forehead into their cheap cabinet’s top when a soft sigh escaped the other in the kitchen. Peeking up over his arm a smile grew on his face at the exasperated yet fond look he received. 

Despite it all, at least Kiibo was enjoying himself, he had been so stressed recently because of exams. It was nice to see him smile again. Kiibo shook his head with a laugh and ruffled Kokichi’s hair slightly, which made his face grow warm without his permission, and then set the mug aside to fill up a new one.

Leaning up slightly, Kokichi rested his chin in his palm and watched as Kiibo moved around the kitchen. He was still getting used to all of this, them living together that is. Up until then he had bounced around to wherever he could stay with D.I.C.E but when they graduated they all agreed to split up for a while to focus on their lives. Kokichi stayed in touch with all of them but he was left homeless.

Kiibo had quickly offered for them to live together, despite them only being together for a couple months and Kokichi having nothing to offer payment wise. Kiibo paid for it all with his father's help and they were set, Kokichi got a job and Kiibo went off to college.

That was three years ago, it was still a wonder that he got so lucky. He was much worse back then too, lying through his teeth like it was his job. He even went as far as almost making Kiibo leave, but they worked it out. 

Therapy can do wonders for you when you actually have a reason to go.

Kiibo pulled the now full cup out of the coffee maker and picked up the other two before turning to face Kokichi. He gave him a look as Kokichi quickly shook himself out of his own head and stood up straight again. His boyfriend gave him a knowing smile and asked like a record on repeat, “Everything alright?”

Kokichi grinned and easily replied, “yup! Just lost in thought about my amazingly handsome boyfriend.”

The other flushed and turned away with a small embarrassed sound. Kokichi smiled even wider, he loved that he could still embarrass the other. Kiibo quickly turned to hide his now red face and robotically marched towards the door. With a bounce of his heels, Kokichi caught him before he could walk out and planted a kiss on his cheek. Kiibo froze and grew even more red.

Kokichi laughed and darted out of the kitchen before Kiibo could do anything, knowing full well once Kiibo came back to his senses they would be in there a while. Kokichi wouldn't necessarily mind that, but they have a dinner party to attend to.

He snickered to himself and trotted over, happy chatter of their guests soon filling his ears. Sitting down next to Rantaro, who was politely grabbing some coshers for the coffee cups on the way, he let out a long sigh that caught the others attention. Rantaro raised an eyebrow at him and leaned back into the couch saying rather loudly, “Kokichi, glad you could join us.”

The frown he sent Rantaro’s way for the sudden spotlight was met with a shiteating grin. He threw his arms up and crossed them as the room quieted and the others looked to him. Being on the spot was slightly a bother but he mentally shrugged off his thoughts and smirked at no one in particular saying, “Yeah… figured I would grace you all with my presence at least once more tonight”

Korekiyo laughed into the cup Kiibo had just handed him and the others mainly sighed, some amused, some not so much. Then of course there was, “Dang, man! For being the host’s partner you really aren’t that social.”

Kokichi grumbled and went to say something, probably rude and scold worthy, to the idiot of the hour but someone cut in. 

Shuichi patted his boyfriend's arm with a forgiving smile, the contrast of his ghostly pale skin and Kaito’s sun tanned skin practically glaring. He said easily, “What Kaito here is trying to say, is that we are glad to see you more. You really only come around when one of us comes over here.”

Shuichi is surprisingly welcoming, it’s strange that a nice guy like him ended up with Kaito. He seems like the guy that could settle down anyone though, so props to him. 

Kaito gave a small thanks to Kiibo as the other passed him coffee. Kokichi really wanted to see his face after getting hot sauce in his mouth, but the secret little smile that Kiibo sent him while walking over was worth appeasing him. His boyfriend sat down and wrapped his arm around Kokichi’s waist, pinching him lightly and muttering, “That’s for earlier.”

Rantaro scooted over a bit and started to fiddle with Kokichi’s keys on the side table. He side eyed them and said with a frown, “get a room.”

Kokichi smirked and slipped from Kiibo to lean against his friend, singing out, “aw~ are you jealous? I know all those girls you asked out turned you down, but! You’ll get there someday big guy~”

He went to pat the other’s arm just to add onto the charade, But Rantaro pushed him away with an annoyed laugh. A couple chuckles echoed around the room and although Kokichi was still down with them all just  _ not _ being here. It was nice to get some reactions from his jokes.

Kiibo smiled happily at everyone and asked conversationally, “So.. how is everybody’s schooling going? It’s been a while since I have asked.”

At that Gonta, who had been admiring the metal figurine on the coffee table, perked up and happily said, “Gonta has been doing very well! His professor said he might be graduating early!”

Kokichi was still trying to figure out why the other talked in the third person. Kiibo had told him once that he had a less than…  _ normal _ childhood, being raised by wolves after an abandonment and then scouted out at fifteen and going to Hope's peak. 

But, he is a genuinely smart guy so Kokichi can’t help but wonder how after years of college, he still hasn’t picked up any normal conversational skills. He would comment on it but the others wouldn’t appreciate that much, so instead he just watched skeptically.

Kiibo’s arm was back around his waist and pulling him close while He said, “Wow! That’s amazing! Do you know what you will do for work, if you do get out early?”

Gonta nodded happily and folded his hands while saying, “Gonta was offered a job to study different bugs around the world and create a guide on them! So Gonta will probably travel a lot.”

Korekiyo set his cup down lightly and leaned forward, his long hair cascaded over his shoulders as he asked, “Traveling? You should join Rantaro and I then, we go to many places that have thriving bug populations.”

Gonta’s face glowed and he practically cheered out, “Gonta would love that! Gonta heard that you go to many fancy places so that would be very fun!.”

An indent of a rare smile appeared in Korekiyo’s mask at that and Kokichi had half a mind to call him on it but then Rantaro was groaning loudly and saying, “Hey man, it’s cool if you come along but be warned. Half the bugs we see out there either want to kill us, or give us diseases. I once got malaria from a giant mosquito and had to fly back to get a shot for it. I hate flying.”

Shuichi spoke up and said questioningly, “That’s odd, weren’t you the ultimate traveller?”

A flush spread across Rantaro’s face and he leaned back stiffly, saying, “uh yeah, but there's like a million ways to travel so..., especially overseas. Well, overseas for me, I mean. Sorry I’m still getting used to being in japan as a more permanent residence.”

Kokichi looked over at him, he usually doesn’t get that flustered around conversations. Flying must've hit a nerve, he feels a little bad for not knowing about his friend’s apparent fear/dislike. Rantaro glanced at him and gave him a tight smile in embarrassment so Kokichi turned and added, “Rantaro prefers riding his yacht like the rich kid he is.”

His friend visibly relaxed beside him and Maki was the one to fill the silence next, “Oh? You own a yacht? That’s awfully impressive, where do you get all your money if you don’t mind me asking.”

Rantaro nodded and explained, “well, My dad has a huge industry in the U.S. that has made him basically a millionaire. So, he selflessly helps pay for me and my twelve sisters dreams. Most of them went on to start their own varying businesses but, I’ve always had a knack for traveling and when I got into hope’s peak my dad agreed that it was a good enough career for me to continue. Now, I go around and do little things here and there to help people out and get some of their currency as payment so I have money from almost every country.”

Maki’s eyes widened a bit in surprise and most everybody grew quiet just taking that in. Kokichi had a similar response when he heard Rantaro’s stories.

Kaito spoke up and said, “You have twelve sisters? Man, that must have been a hectic house.”

Rantaro laughed, “Yeah, I was the oldest so I was there with most of them and it was a trip for sure. With my dad always working I had to practically raise them so I’m pretty good with kids now funnily enough.”

Korekiyo joked out, “I imagine your need for traveling was to probably get a break from all that.”

Rantaro laughed at that as well and nodded. Maki once again spoke up saying, “Actually now that you say that, if you ever get the chance, could you give me some pointers? I’m majoring to be a pediatric nurse so it would be very helpful to hear how to handle children in tough spots.”

Rantaro thought for a second, reaching up to scratch behind his ear lightly. With a confirming sound he looked up and said, “yeah I guess I could. After our next expedition of course. But, I have to be honest I’m not the  _ best _ at it. I just have a lot of experience.”

Maki smiled, which was an odd sight. It made Kokichi uneasy for some reason. She shrugged and said, “Ah, that’s more than I can say for myself…”

This was turning out a bit better than he expected, though he still had some doubts. Kokichi had to admit that this was a good idea on Kiibo’s part. It made a nice feeling settle in his chest, something reminiscent of D.I.C.E maybe? Though they never really all sat down and spoke like this.

The conversation continued on nicely. Everybody talking about what was going on, Shuichi said he was just finishing some big cases and that he could get a really good score for it if he was right. Maki mentioned an internship that she had at the pediatrician wing in the local hospital. Kaito boasted about his plan to sneak in and take the test to become an astronaut, everybody laughed and told him it was a really bad idea. Gonta talked to Kiyo and Rantaro more about what they could do while travelling. Kiibo even mentioned a new robot he was working on that was a very important thing to him, he practically beamed while explaining how he was starting to work in movement mechanics which wowed all of them.

It was really,  _ really _ nice. As much as Kokichi has his thoughts about the group and concerns, they seem nice and bring him in easily.

Once they all said their goodbyes, Korekiyo and Rantaro giving him a hug since they were sailing out tomorrow, Kokichi and Kiibo got to cleaning up. They had ordered in a pizza at one point and there was enough for the next couple of meals which was nice. Kiibo put them away in the fridge and Kokichi wiped down the coffee table while saying falsely, “y’know, you could have at least invited clean people over.”

Kiibo let out a laugh that echoed out of the kitchen, then his face popped up to look at him through the opening in the wall. He smiled and teased, “You can say all you want, But I know you liked them.”

Kokichi set down the rag and leaned up, placing his hands on his hips he asked, “Oh really? Nishishishi~ maybe it was just all a lie.”

Kiibo’s face tilted into an amused smirk and then he disappeared from view in the blink of an eye. Kokichi blinked and then stiffened, he knew what was coming so with a laugh he quickly ran to the other side of the room. Heavy footsteps echoed behind him, he turned quickly and jumped over the footstool calling out, “Ahhhh! I’m sorry! It was just a joke!”

He turned around and caught a glimpse of Kiibo nearly in front of him. He quickly ran into the hallway and up to their room opening the door as Kiibo called, “You are  _ so  _ gonna get it.”

He ran over to the corner of their room and Kiibo flung the door open with a silly smile on his face, his chest heaving. Kokichi plastered his hands on the wall and said evilly, “oh? Have I been caught?”

Kiibo grinned and stalked forward saying, “I don’t know, will you try to run away again?”

Kokichi smirked and waited to answer until Kiibo was a breath away, a cold as metal hand sliding up his neck and into his hair. He dropped his arms and wrapped them around the others waist saying softly, “Maybe~”

Kiibo huffed and finally stepped up into his space saying, “You are such a tease, Kichi.”

Kokichi’s snickers were cut off by Kiibo kissing him softly.

Kokichi let out a pleasant sigh and and kissed him back.

…

Kokichi woke up to the sun peeking in through their pale shades, and arms tightly wrapped around his waist. Looking down he got a face full of pointy white hair, he smiled and reached up. Kiibo’s hair was soft despite its looks so he spun his finger in it delicately. Kiibo shifted slightly and grumbled.

Scooting down enough to have Kiibo’s face in his neck, he kissed his forehead lightly and said quietly, “Hey Kiiboy~ time to get up, classes, remember.”

Kiibo sighed grumpily, the air fanning across Kokichi’s chest. “Kiibo… I would love to stay and cuddle with you all day, but you have classes and I have work in a couple hours.”

Kiibo huffed and shifted around a bit before managing to get an elbow underneath him to lean on. He blearily looked down at Kokichi with a smile and leaned in to kiss him. Kokichi went to kiss him back but then remembered and quickly placed fingers on his lips. Kiibo looked at him with wide eyes and a small disappointed sound brushed against his fingers. Kokichi smiled and quickly kissed his cheek instead saying, “Morning breath.”

Kiibo pouted and fell back into his pillow.

Kokichi laughed lightly and poked his side annoyingly, saying, “Kiiboy, you are such a baby.”

Kiibo turned over to face him and frowned, saying with a groggy voice, “Did you just call me ‘Kiiboy’?”

Kokichi blinked, he didn’t even notice that. He had a bunch of nicknames for Kiibo but that definitely was not a typical one. He tapped his chin slightly with a frown, he never used it but it felt so familiar, weird. He sighed and sat up saying, “Hmm, guess I did. Sorry it just slipped out.”

Kiibo shook his head and leaned up as well. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stretched saying, “Don’t worry, I don’t mind. Though, please don’t call me that it’s not really my favorite.”

Kokichi slid over and wrapped his arms around the ample amount of shirtless boyfriend, kissing his neck and saying, “yes, darling~”

Kiibo flushed brightly and halfheartedly pushed him away, getting up muttering something grumpily. Kokichi laughed at him while rolling back over onto his pillows.

…

The library smelled of mildew and old ladies, Kokichi knew this because he saw both of those here at least three times everyday. 

Currently he was in the kids aisle, shelving coloring and picture books from his cart. His music was blasting through his headphones and distracting him from one kid in particular that was crying because his mom apparently didn’t give him a cookie. Kokichi’s wishes she had so he could ask them to leave and he could go on with his work in peace.

He picked up a book and smiled at it. It was one of the newer books with a prince and a knight. The prince had pretty blonde hair and was very polite and happy, the Knight was a loud boisterous guy with raven black hair. He had to admit it reminded him of Kiibo and himself if he dared think it.

Making sure he put that up where some lucky kid could reach it, he turned back to his cart and froze at the sight of a tall, well dressed man staring down at him.

Kokichi looked up and was met with two red eyes, a shiver ran down his spine at how they seemed to just stare through him. The man stepped a bit closer and Kokichi took a step back, the bookshelf behind Kokichi trembling as he ran into it. A frown worked its way onto his face as Kokichi noticed red glitch-like squares, they seemed to appear and blink away around him constantly.

A headache worked its way into Kokichi’s head, something felt so wrong all of a sudden. Looking up at the still man he dropped his head phones to the ground and demanded, “Who the hell are you?”

The man looked him up and down, “you are Kokichi ouma?”

The man's voice rested at a low monotone that seemed to add an even darker aura around him, Kokichi grabbed the shelf behind him for support underneath the overbearing feeling he suddenly gained. Sucking in a breath he said again, “Who. Are. You?”

The man was silent for a few seconds, seeming to calculate something in his mind. He lifted up his hand and placed it on the shelf next to Kokichi’s head, leaning close enough that Kokichi would have been able to feel his breath, but there was nothing there. 

Kokichi’s stomach dropped and his hand snaked behind him, he always carried a knife with him. He once promised Kiibo that he would never use it, but he figures his boyfriend would much prefer him alive and safe rather dead or missing. Gripping it tightly behind him, he scanned the man for an opening as the other started talking again.

“I am a world destroyer, I have reached you which means…” The red glitches were still all around him but luckily his stomach was open. “...come peacefully and no one in your dream will get hurt, don’t and…” Kokichi straightened his shoulders, slowly lifting his arm. “...creator wants to help you. Your friends all came easy and are ready for you to come back…” Kokichi breathed and then quickly swung his knife right at the other's stomach. The man didn’t even flinch. He grabbed Kokichi’s wrist when the knife was inches from its target.

Kokichi slowly looked up at the still blank face. The man glanced down at the knife before looking back up and saying, “I see… you must still be in the mindset that this is all real.”

Horror seeped into Kokichi and he dropped the knife, the sound dull to his ears. His headache grew worse and he quickly looked around, everything looked fuzzy but it was still all there. His cart, the shelves, the crying child, his boss meandering around, his coworkers shelving their own books, everything was still the same. Kokichi looked back to the man and forced a laugh saying, “You… you crazy asshole. What? Take a little too much? Drank too many beers? I can have you removed and taken to jail, you know?”

The man stared at him as he said all this until he finished with a shaky voice. The grip on his wrist didn’t cease as the man leaned back and said, “very well.”

Kokichi blinked and opened his mouth, then the world flipped upside down. He yelled in surprise, trying to pull his hand away.

Suddenly, he was in a college lecture room. His mind was spinning as he looked around, landing back on the man who was scanning the area. Once again, he tried to pull away from the stone like grip, he was easily let go and stumbled back. The man started walking forward and Kokichi blinked, calling out, “Hey! What the fuck is happening?!”

The man kept walking down the steps and Kokichi felt his heart pound through his chest, he called out again, “Hey Asshole! Can you hear me?! What’s going on?!”

He started walking down the stairs after him, planning to… he doesn't even know what. But, a familiar voice stopped him dead in his tracks. His throat closed up and his legs shook as he looked up and met familiar bright blue eyes.

Kiibo grappled with the others arms that were wrapped in a chokehold around his neck. He was yelling something, something, something, something. Kokichi’s ears rang, the man tightened his grip and Kiibo started shaking, tears running down his face as he gripped at the arm taking his breath away. Kokichi wanted to walk forward, but his legs were glued to the ground.

His trembling hand reached out as his vision went blurry, slowly Kiibo stopped fighting, stopped _ moving _ . The man dropped him to the ground. Kokichi felt as if his lungs tumbled out of his mouth, he fell down to his knees and stared at Kiibo’s blank face. Everything went numb, he couldn’t hear anything. 

He was crying.

He was  _ screaming _ .

Read eyes bored into him, watching as everything fell apart.

Kokichi squeezed his eyes shut, the picture of Kiibo’s dead face burned into his eyelids. He was crumbling, everything falling away like broken pieces of glasses. He was wheezing for air, clasping onto his hair so hard that it felt like he was bleeding. His forehead stung as he fell to the ground and screamed again.

Then he remembered.

He remembered  _ everything _ .

_ He didn’t stop crying. _


	2. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST TIME WEE WOO WEE WOO  
> Yeah uh it's going to take a while for the fluff to come back so buckle up boys we're jumping right in.

When Kokichi awoke, it was slow. Peaceful almost.

Water drained from around him and a decompression sound slowly got louder and louder until it cut out. 

Then there was just silence. 

His heart beat echoed in his ears, his breathing slow and heavy. His body felt like clay, moldable and weighted. It was strange, but his mind was at peace.

Things came back to him in pieces. First he remembered the killing game, the trials, the deaths and murders, the happy moments, the sad ones, the hot pink blood covering his vision, his endless lies that garnered years of hate, and then his death. He remembered the crushing weight and then the empty calm, nothing coming in, nothing going out. 

Second, he remembered the mangled memories of his, the real ones and the fake ones mingled all together into something that felt so real and lived. 

Finally, he remembered his false reality, the happiness and normalcy that he created to ease his mind. His chest ached.

Kiibo…

What happened to him?

He… died, but it was not real.

Beeps and the smell of bleach filled his senses, as if he was in some sort of hospital.

Then, with no warning his heart rate kicked up and a flash shot through his system. His eyes burst open and darted around. Darkness was all that greeted him, something heavy resting over his face. 

Tears welled up before he could stop them and suddenly he couldn’t breath, he needed to escape, he needed to get out. He tried to throw his hands up but they were locked down, his legs too.

Feeling lost he started to scream, thrashing around. His head hurt as he threw it back and forth. Kicking and pawing as best he could. Metal screeched in his ears as his nails dug in hard to the table beneath him. He yelled loud enough for his throat to hurt, arching his neck back. The heavy weight on his face closed in on him, the darkness encasing him.

Everything was going. Fast fast fast fast fast.

Kokichi screamed again as his head pounded.

Suddenly, Everything got lighter, he had not realised but his eyes were squeezed shut tightly.

Soft hands brushed his hair out of his face and gently touched his cheek before retracting when he snarled like some feral animal and jerked away.

His breathing began to even out, his mind still racing but his chest no longer pounding.

Slowly, he forced his eyes open, Kokichi saw a blurry image of a familiar face. Pale blue eyes, long blonde hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, surprisingly soft hands holding what looked like an old virtual reality headset. She looked like she was in pain as she slowly reached into whatever container-like place he was in.

Closing his eyes he quickly turned his head away. There was no way this was real, she had died.  _ He helped kill her _ . How could she be here.

When a hand touched his arm lightly he jerked away from it, making the other squeak in surprise. 

He breathed heavily through his nose and that’s when he realized he was speaking, chanting a soft  _ no no no no no _ under his breath. He must be in hell. That’s it. That is the only way he would be seeing her and having her seemingly be kind to him. He’s in hell that’s it. This is his punishment for his crimes, to constantly face his horrible mistakes.

The hand was back on his arm, he stopped moving this time. His shoulders fell down and he squeezed his eyes tight, his face stinging with the need to cry. 

Miu shushed him lightly and started to unchain him. She was speaking, soft and reassuring. No curse words, no threats, no screams of frustration. He was truly in hell.

When she finished unclasping him, she called out to somebody else. An unfamiliar name, it sounded so easy on her tongue yet he had never heard it before. He blinked slowly and once again saw her anguished face and hands reaching out to him. He closed his eyes again and curled his weak arms around himself.

Soon another set of hands were on him, these ones rougher, stronger. Kokichi glanced up and saw a pink haired man looking to be about mid twenties, he had grease stains on his face and wore a jumpsuit of sorts with the sleeves rolled up. The man was not looking at him, instead over at Miu asking her questions. She was flushed and answered him.

Kokichi's ears were still ringing when they both said something and wrapped their arms around his shoulders. With a huff to his left, he was hauled up into a sitting position and sound started filling up his ears again. Steady beeping of heartbeats, the groan of machines, clicking of a computer keyboard, the breaths of the people holding him up and their heartbeats.

Miu said something else but cut off quickly when he grabbed her arm and squeezed. Everything seemed quiet as he looked up at her and asked in a weak voice, “Where…. Am I?”

Her eyes narrowed slightly and his grip tightened, she didn’t say anything. Instead, Miu looked him over slowly, almost checking for something. Then, she grabbed him suddenly and pulled him into a tight hug, this time he croaked in surprise.

A small chortle came from the man behind him as Miu squeezed even tighter, she mumbled millions of things. They all ranged from apologies to accusations. Kokichi’s chest felt tight and everything felt so wrong. He wanted her to let go of him  _ now _ . He couldn’t handle this, it was too much, too fast. If this was his hell, he truly hated it. He wanted her to scream at him, punch him, yell cuss’s. But, she hugged him even tighter and his breathing grew sparse.

Finally she pulled away, still holding onto his shoulders tight enough to hurt. She stared at him like she wanted to say more, maybe even pull him into another hug. But, much to Kokichi’s relief, she dropped their eye contact and instead looked to her right.

A tanned hand rested on her shoulder and slowly Kokichi followed the arm up to the owner's face. Shock filled his system at the familiar face. 

It was the man from his dream, the one that broke his dream and… Killed Kiibo. 

He looked different here. He looked a bit older, about the same age as the pink haired man, he also looked kinder with two mismatched eyes. One was a stark green that muffled the tough look of the red one. He was dressed down as well, wearing a simple grey t-shirt and what looked like sweatpants oddly enough.

Still, when the man looked over at Kokichi with a curious stare, he jerked back and hit the other side of the container he was in. The man’s eyebrows raised a bit and Miu stepped back, staring at Kokichi again.

The man stepped forward, carefully resting his hands on the container. His face looked so kind, so misleading. Kokichi sucked in a breath and realised he was trapped, the pink haired man was still behind him, Miu standing to his right, and the man in front of him taking up all of the space around him.

The man opened his mouth to speak, but Kokichi quickly cut him off saying, “What… what the fuck is happening?! You were in my dream!” he meekly lifted his hand, it felt heavy and hard to lift. But he still pointed at the man. “You-you ripped me from it! Killed what I held dear even if it wasn’t…. Wasn’t real!” his hand closed into a fist, “now… now I’m here a-and Miu! She’s alive! And you look normal! And I’m in some kind of p-pod thing! What the fuck!”

The man’s face contorted slightly, he raised his hands almost placatingly and then lowered them immediately when Kokichi flinched back. With a sigh, he finally spoke in a voice much more lively but still calm, “That was a program. I made it look like me to help my friends when they were in a similar state as you. I take it you know that it was all fake?”

Kokichi looked around, landing back on Miu. He stared at her and she raised her shoulders stiffly, forcing up a reassuring smile. He quickly looked away from her, meeting those mismatched eyes again instead and nodding.

The man smiled lightly and said, “ok, good. How about we start over then, and we can figure things out.” a hand extended out towards him and Kokichi stared down at it distrustfully. “I am Hajime Hinata. I work with the future foundation’s recovery department, currently we are on Jabberwock island where me and the survivors from a past killing game live. Can you tell me your name?”

Kokichi thought for a second. He seemed to be honest, no tics or tells for him to be lying. No one said otherwise so Kokichi slowly asked, “Am I dead?”

A crease formed on his face that looked almost like pity, but Hajime kept smiling and said “no, the game you were in was all a simulation through vr technology. You and all the other victims are very much alive.”

Kokichi found himself not even really surprised, he had a dull ping somewhere but he looked back to Miu and she genuinely smiled back. With a sigh he grabbed the hand in front of him and shook it saying, “Kokichi oma.”

There was a small pause where Hajime just smiled at him while shaking his hand, it was strange. He had just watched this man kill Kiibo in his subconscious dream escape thingy and yet now he was shaking his hand.

Hajime released him and said, “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you Kokichi. Um, I know things are a bit confusing…”

Kokichi once again looked around at the large room. He noted other pods with disregarded headsets hanging out the sides forgotten, almost all open except for five, he could guess who that was. His heart panged and he quickly took in the rest of the room before leveling a blank look at Hajime and saying sarcastically, “a bit.”

Hajime laughed, small and amused. Kokichi blinked and for a split second something warmed in him.

The other ran a hand through his hair, the pointy part similar to Shuichi’s bouncing unnaturally, and said, “Yeah, sorry. I’m usually better at this but I just got up so my talents are still getting in gear… I’ll uh explain that too, later. For now, Me and Soda here are going to get you up and out to Mikan. She is our resident nurse with help from Kirumi… we will take you over to our hospital where you can begin recovery from your cryo sleep and in a couple hours I will come to do some explaining.”

Suddenly his shoulders were grabbed and the pink haired man poked around with a sharp smile, literally. He squeezed his shoulders and happily said, “I’m Kazuichi Soda, but everybody just calls me Soda, as you can see. Nice to meet ya’!”

A hand shot out and almost hit him in the nose, Kokichi frowned at him and slowly shook his hand. It was ripped away just as fast and then Soda disappeared back behind him and arms looped underneath him. He blinked and flushed slightly, he really preferred if they didn't touch him. But, considering his useless arms he doubt’s he will get anywhere on his legs either.

Hajime sighed slightly and rubbed his temple at the show. Then, he shook his head and much slower than Soda, grabbed Kokichi’s legs with a gentle but strong grip. He looked to Miu and said, “Miu, go watch Kaito’s case and let either of us know if something happens, ok? He should be waking soon.”

Miu nodded and turned to go somewhere but she hesitated, slowly she looked back to Kokichi with a conflicted look before smiling and saying to him, “We can talk more later, But I’m glad you’re awake… you ass.”

Kokichi shifted slightly in discomfort and looked away from her. He was going to have to get used to whatever was going on with her. For now though, he forced up a smile and said, “glad to know you cared about me, cumdumpster!”

She flushed brightly, her eyes darting to both of the older men. They exchanged a look in confusion as she squeaked and quickly darted away.

Kokichi smirked and looked back to Hajime, the man gave him a blankly confused look.

“Well~ my knight’s in shining armor, carry me away to cureth me demons!”

Hajime paused and stared at him with a flustered look, the poor guy looked like he was doing mental gymnastics. He sighed after a moment though and just shook his head again, muttering something before looking up and past him.

“Lift on, 1… 2… 3.”

Kokichi was lifted into the air and then being carried slowly. 

He would have to think on his feet if this ends up going haywire considering his current state of helplessness. He could trust the two men so far but… Hajime was a conundrum and Soda was far too happy. Not to mention all the random things Hajime had mentioned earlier that made absolutely no sense.

Once they carried him over the pod, his heart skipped a little as he realised how far up from the ground he was. The two carrying him shifted around to better hold him and Kokichi had to force back a groan at the fact that they both were obviously  _ much _ taller than him. He glared down at their shoes and noted that both of them had… interesting tastes. Soda was wearing what looked like old, dirty crocs while Hajime was wearing sneakers that were scuffed up from years of use and looked like something a highschool student would wear. Kokichi would know, basically half of his class has sneakers exactly like those.

Hajime and Soda started to carry him out of the room, Soda’s pace fast and random while Hajime took slow precise steps not even trying too hard and yet getting there perfectly on time. Kokichi got lost in his thoughts about the two differences when Hajime said, “If you have any questions for us now, I can try to answer to the best of my ability.”

Kokichi looked up to him and rolled his shoulder, it was starting to ache and Soda’s tight hold was not helping. Neither was him chirping in loudly against Kokichi’s apparently newly sensitive ears, “I can answer some questions too! I know way more about the island then Hajime here does.”

Soda had a wide smirk on his face as he side eyed Hajime, who huffed angrily and decidedly didn’t meet his gaze. They passed by the last couple pods and Kokichi looked over to the tall metal door that most likely led outside. He sucked in a breath at the sudden burst of emotion at the sight. 

What if’s filled his mind. 

  
  


What if this was just more of a dream? What if they walk out and it's the circular dome of his game? What if out there is  _ another _ killing game? What if… what if his classmates were out there, smiling and ready to greet him just like Miu had?

His spine trembled and he quickly looked away from the door despite getting closer and closer with each double step.

Hajime started talking again, so Kokichi squeezed his fist and focused on what he was saying.

“...at’s ridiculous Soda. I’m literally here more than you are. Anyway, Kokichi, we got a wheelchair that we’ll use to push you to the hospital, and while we are walking please feel free to ask us anything… Kokichi, are you alright?”

The movement stopped and the looming presence of the door seemed to close in on him. It curled over him, the protective shield of Hajime and Soda fading away and leaving him to fall to the hazy ground.

He blinked, his mind hazy and heavy. 

Kokichi quickly shuffled up to his feet, only to fall back to his knees as his trembling legs gave out underneath him. 

Wide eyed, he quickly looked around. He was not in the room anymore, instead it was just dark  _ everywhere _ . No pods, no Miu, no Hajime or Soda just an all encompassing black. Then he spun around and there was the door going all the way up to the sky, past how far his eyes could go. Light peeked out from underneath it and was bright enough to make Kokichi prefer the darkness.

He quickly shuffled away, only managing to do a scuffled crab walk full of awkwardly twisted wrists and ankles.

The door circled around him like a snake, the world around him fading as it slowly began opening. 

The shining light burned Kokichi’s skin but he couldn’t escape, everywhere he turned the door was opening up at him and leading to something that made his skin crawl. He tried to crawl back but each step made the door taller and wider. Something hit his back and Kokichi felt his breath leave him as the door suddenly slammed shut 

Voices overlapped and screamed loudly in the pitch black space. People were screaming and yelling right in his ear, calling his name. He clasped his hand over his ears and folded into himself.

“Kokichi!”

His chest fluttered on a shaky inhale and he blinked aggressively for a few seconds. His shoes were in his view, curled into each other and pressed in close to the rest of his body. He was covering his ears. His racing heartbeat and breathing echoing inside him like a ball bouncing around the inside a cage.

Looking up, he squeezed the hair in his fingers as he met two concerned sets of eyes. Hajime and Soda were kneeling in front of him with their hand suspended in the air, neither willing to reach out and attempt to touch him. How did he get on the floor? 

Slowly, he lowered his hands down and took in slow even breaths. He… he must have gotten caught up in his imagination. Glancing sideways at the door, it stood innocently ajar allowing for a sliver of light to come in and brush just over Hajime’s shoulder. Kokichi quickly looked away from the door and back to the others.

His fingers fidgeted with each other and he subconsciously pulled his knees in closer while saying, “I…. I um…”

Soda’s eyebrows creased over his eyes for a second before he turned to Hajime and said quietly, “do you know what just happened?”

Hajime barely glanced at Soda before looking back to Kokichi, muttering something under his breath. Kokichi wanted to get up, he felt pathetic sitting here curled up on the ground. But, it took all his strength just to hold his legs up and he suspected that the others wouldn’t let him just walk off.

He always hates getting this kind of attention.

Hajime scratched his chin slightly before looking back to Kokichi, his eyes were a bit flatter which was alarming. When he spoke, he sounded different too, calmer and soothing almost. It put Kokichi on guard, so he quickly looked over to Soda, the man showed no signs of concern at this but that was not necessarily reassuring.

Hajime soothed out, “Kokichi, can you tell me what just happened?”

He  _ really _ didn’t like that, he didn't like the open look he was getting or the patient silence that followed the question. It felt so  _ odd _ and out of place, he did. Not. like. It.

A frown made his face crease and he brought his body into a more defensive position, his arms crossed over his chest and legs relaxing but still held close. He glared at Hajime and said, “Nothing. I just blacked out for a second.”

Hajime stared at him, his red eye piercing right through Kokichi's lie. Kokichi stayed on, staring straight back with no movement, he’s done this before, he’s good at it, it will get him out of this. 

Neither faltered and Kokichi felt his mouth run dry. 

Soda cleared his throat beside them and awkwardly rocked on his heels.

Finally, Hajime looked away. His eyes shut and he sighed through his nose briefly before turning back with a smile, easily he said, “That’s alright, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Kokichi blanked a bit but decidedly took the somewhat win and looked away, “Come on, we should hurry and get you to the hospital. Soda?”

Soda nodded and looked at Kokichi with slight hesitation, he scuffled closer and after glancing at Kokichi’s face again, he wrapped his arm around his torso. Kokichi shook his head slightly and looked down. Soda shifted around getting ready to stand but first he said quietly with a small grin, “I find it creepy when he does that too y’know. The whole using a talent thing that is”

Soda chuckled lightly and Kokichi looked over to him, he couldn’t force up anything, his mind too preoccupied. So, he just blankly looked at the other, causing his teasing grin to fade slightly. Eventually Soda gave up and cleared his throat again with a small ‘right’ before lifting Kokichi up.

Kokichi legs dangled in the air a bit, but it seemed Soda could manage to carry him bridal style himself. 

Soda walked towards the door and Hajime was already there holding it open for them.

His spine felt like it was shaking and Kokichi had to force himself to face the door. His mind flashed at him, but he brushed any bad thoughts away. The sun hurt his eyes a bit as they adjusted, to his surprise he was met with a normal sight.

Paved ground surrounded the building they were in, glinting up at him. The sky seemed to be endlessly blue, but unlike in his game, there were soft clouds shifting over. They looked dark and heavy, meaning it was probably going to rain. In the far distance, palm trees swayed in the wind and covered up what seemed to be a pretty, untouched beach.

Everything seemed to loosen at the sight. It was so different from the dome he had been in before, and there was nothing but open area around.

He could feel a soft breeze brushing against his legs and ruffling his hair a bit. The wheelchair Hajime mentioned was off to the side next to another, looking very welcoming. Kokichi wanted to go out, he wanted to be out of this stuffy room and be able to breath in fresh air.

Soda walked up and they were so close. Hajime reminded Soda to be careful as he turned to carry Kokichi over the threshold, the sun hit his neck and…

He audibly sighed as they stepped out into the outside. He felt something like a chuckle against his shoulder from Soda, but ignored it for the nice sensation of everything being so real. Kokichi had never noticed in the game how unrealistic it felt, how unnatural the air felt on his skin. But, now that he has felt real air, real heat, real  _ everything _ again, he can’t even imagine how he never realised.

Soda maneuvered around and then he was being lowered into the hard cushion of the wheelchair. His legs dangled in front of him, not long enough to reach the foot rests, this was probably fit for more adult sized patients. He didn't mind though, he was now facing the sun. The heat warmed his cold skin and made his school uniform feel as if he was overdressed. If he was staying here, he would definitely have to find some clothes more normal to him instead of this full black uniform.

He wiggled his fingers and turned to Hajime as he was walking out the door. He really didn’t  _ want _ to talk to him, him being able to easily pick up on his lies put him right back on his suspicious list. Not to mention, whatever they both had said about “talents”. He had to wonder if it meant that Hajime was some kind of ultimate, if so Kokichi needed to figure out what. But, he ignored his thoughts in favor asking, “How far is the hospital?”

Hajime paused in thought, his hand resting on the door handle keeping it halfway open. Then with a nod to himself he said like he was confirming something, “about a quarter mile, so if we walk normally then probably 15 to 20 minutes away.”

Kokichi sighed and turned back around, letting his tired body fall back into the chair. Now that he was sitting and much more relaxed, fatigue was starting to really hit him. He guesses this was the effects of being in the virtual reality game for who knows how long. They were there for at least a month or two so did that amount of time pass in real life? Or does one go faster then the other?

He hummed slightly and determined that wherever he would be put in to stay, he would have to set up some kind of board like he had in the game. That way he can write everything out that he discovers and slowly piece things together. He can also come up with good questions to ask that won't be suspicious but still give him the answers he wants.

Behind him Soda grabbed onto the wheelchairs handlebars and happily said, “Well! We should get walkin’ then! I for one can’t spend all day getting to the hospital, so, lets go.”

Hajime laughed and started to respond but then cut off at the call of his name. 

Kokichi blinked and turned back around just in time to see Miu run up and say through panting breaths, “Hajime… Kaito, he- he is waking up”

Her thumb darted behind her and Kokichi followed the line back. One of the pods had lost the glowing lights around it, that the ones in use seemed to have, and the monitor showed a slowly rising heart rate and oxygen levels. Kokichi watched for a second in silence before something heavy sunk into his stomach and his earlier joy faded away.

Kaito.

The last time Kokichi had seen him, he had been helping him into the hydraulic press, his face creased with anguish and his words quiet and heavy. He had gone through with the plan and to Kokichi’s knowledge had used the script in the trial, but it must have not worked. Shuichi saw through it, or Kaito gave in, or Maki realised, or the mastermind got him, or Kiibo noted his mistakes in the messy script, or Himiko called the bluff right away.

Either way it failed, because he was the only one waking up. The only one that was  _ supposed _ to be waking up. He failed and got executed because of Kokichi and now he was waking up. How would he react? Will he hate him, yell and throw a couple punches? Or will he be like Miu and just act as if everything is fine? Or will he be some mix of the two?

… Will he even react at all?

Kokichi watched, frozen as Hajime quickly grabbed the other wheelchair, pushing it into the room. He slowed once he got in and asked Miu something, she responded but Kokichi couldn’t hear past the ringing in his ears. They spoke quietly and Kokichi let his eyes drag back over to the pod, his finger twitched as he watched Kaito’s heart rate slowly get closer and closer to a normal beat. Air released around the pod and the cap started to raise.

Kokichi’s hands tightened around the armrests of his chair, enough to send an ache up the rest of his arms. 

“Hey… You wanna wait for him to get up? I know things… are probably weird between you two but-”

Kokichi squeezed his eyes tight and cut off Soda's uncharacteristically soft comment, “Let’s just go.”

The other was quiet and Kokichi decided he didn’t like whatever was probably being thought about him so he quickly added, “I could care less about what the moron is up to. We worked together to kill me and it failed, that’s it. Nothing more nothing less.”

Kokichi didn’t honestly know if that was a lie or the truth. When he had been speaking to Kaito after giving him the antidote, they had reached some kind of agreement. Kaito had even gone as far as hinting that he understood why Kokichi did what he did. They worked together and for once Kokichi felt like he wasn’t alone in his madness. 

It was just like when he gave Gonta the flashback.  _ Exactly _ like it.

If he was feeling really optimistic, he could almost imagine them capable of being friends now.

That was just a lie, though. Kaito only helped him to help his real friends escape. Kaito was only upset about killing him because it messed with an intense sense of morals, not because he actually cared. Kaito agreed with the plan because he was already dying, it was a last resort for both of them. They were not friends, just unlikely allies.

Soda still had not started walking so Kokichi turned in the chair and said, “Is there a problem, Grease monkey? Let’s go.”

Something crossed over Soda’s face, his mouth curling into a frown. Kokichi must have hit a sensitive spot with that name.

Soda grumbled and started pushing the wheelchair forward with a jolt, one hard enough to send Kokichi reeling forward. He grabbed the handles to stabilize himself and hissed at the way his body ached in protest.

Gingerly leaning back into the backrest as they started down the path he growled out, “ _ rude _ ”

Soda barked a humorless laugh and asked, “Are you always this grumpy? Or is it just because you just woke up?”

Kokichi huffed and lied, “I’m actually a pretty nice person, you are just particularly annoying.”

“...right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys thought! All comment are appreciated even critics, just try not to be too harsh lol


	3. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiibo enters the stage... Sorry for such a late update lol, i had actually planned to have an update schedule for this but with school circumstances and work overloading us so that we don't go bankrupt, I can't do much. I have been writing and I actually read through this as my own form of "editing" I was surprised with how well it turned out as usually my first drafts are a bunch of mangled thoughts all thrown together. But, enough of my rambling, for where the story is, This chapter will be short and just more exposition and next chapter has a few things revealed but I kinda want it to be like you guys figure things out along with Kokichi (and eventually Kiibo) so don't expect much, there will be more introductions though! some of the older cast looks different ie. hair changes and clothing changes, so I did my best to describe that but I still need to actually finish the chapter so... yeahh lol

Kiibo huffed a heavy breath. His body screaming at him for a break but he pushed forward, he was not going to get out of this. 

He knew that the minute he assured Shuichi that they would leave together. A dull ache filled his chest in place of a broken heart when his desperate friend had smiled at him weakly. Shuichi probably knew already as well, his talent would be able to pick up on Kiibo’s terrible lying right away. 

The situation they were in… it was unreasonable. They have already lost so many, but everybody in this giant dome of despair knew that to escape, they would have to make another sacrifice.

His arm spasmed a bit as he forced a shock of energy to it to shoot out another beam. Grabbing it with his other arm to stabilize himself, he grunted and tried to stay steady while levitating above the crumbling roof. 

His eyes automatically adjusted, the image flickering in and out as millions of words ran through his mind. His inner voice was screaming, yelling, degrading as he made a point of focusing on the way the manufactured building collapsed in on itself. A sick satisfaction filled him at the sight as comments ran over his mind eye, too fast for him to read but all angry over his actions.

Another ray shot from the gun attachment, Kiibo made sure to circle it around the area. Trees singed away to dust and grass shifted from a healthy, untouchable green to a deathly black with white patches where it just completely melted. He angled the shot up further before freezing.

He stared down the steaming barrel at the dormitory. 

He could not bring himself to force enough energy through his gun to shoot. The quiet building was not like the others, there him and the others only had good memories. Memories of spontaneous sleepovers or late nights walks through the halls. Memories of hushed conversations and whispered laughter at some cheesy joke. Memories of quiet moments of healing, holding each other close and trying to handle everything.

Before he realised it, his feet were touching down on the ground and his arm gun was left aimed down.

He couldn’t cry and there have only been a few moments where Kiibo truly felt like crying. This moment was one of them. He hated this place. Hated everything about this location and the game and just... everything involved. But, these rooms… These rooms felt sacred. He didn’t want to just tear down all of those memories. 

It felt like if he did he was killing the others all over again by destroying what good was left of them.

The building loomed over him dauntingly.

The black mask pressed against his synthetic skin, restricted his shaky gasp. He wanted to step forward, go into it and back up to his room. He would not be able to sleep but he could just sit there, gather up some belongings before his final breath. Maybe, grab some of Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko’s things for them as well.

A familiar call made him stop though and turn back towards the sound. 

One of the monobeasts stood in a large hole of the building. It was too far for the natural eye to see, but Kiibo with some adjustments could make out Shuichi’s figure in front of the machine. His pale hands were cupped over his mouth to better project his voice and his body language showed off his trepidation.

Kiibo let out a harsh sigh and with a jump, he sent one last look to the dorms before shooting it with his beam, withholding his anguish, and flying over to Shuichi.

The flight there was quick and soon he was falling into the school again. The monobeast swung its upper limbs around a bit in the air, trying to swat him away like a fly. He dove past it and went straight to Shuichi, who quickly stumbled back and out of the way.

Kiibo let his feet swivel in a move Tenko had taught him once and aimed his gun up at the monobeast. There was a weak spot right in the middle of their torso, if he shot it then they would be stunned long enough for Shuichi to run past and him to fly out safely.

His arm vibrated with the amount of energy he filled it with to shoot the monobeast. He shot a look at Shuichi and gestured his head to the side, letting him know that he needed to move. Shuichi’s eyes were conflicted, his brows furrowed tightly over and his eyeliner smearing enough to give him a dark look. But, after a second, he nodded sharply and turned to run past him.

Kiibo relaxed a bit as he heard his friends retreating footsteps dim. He wishes he could have talked to Shuichi more, through the course of the game he had changed so much from the timid guy he was originally. In the first couple of weeks, he avoided everyone except for Kaito, only appearing in front of the others at meals and meetings. After Ryoma and Kirumi deaths though, he suddenly was more open to spending time with others, he still had his moments but he was officially one of the group. Shuichi and Kiibo grew close, but they never actually took the time to hang out; it was more of a situational friendship despite their compatibility.

He felt his knees buckle a bit as he shot a beam at the monobeast. The giant robot’s movements stilted a bit, swung around in an aborted motion before it fell back with an ear splitting crash. Dust and debri exploded up around it, but Kiibo was already stepping off the ledge of the broken apart wall and flying back up into the air.

Where else did he need to hit? The school and scattered buildings around were in pieces, the trial grounds were decimated, the random outcrops of outdoor activities were unrecognizable. All that was left was the giant glass dome around him.

Flying above everything like this, he could see the whole dome in its full. When everything below seemed so far away, his once forced home seemed impossibly small and Kiibo could not help but wonder how they had managed living here. 

Wind ruffled through his hair and made the sensors on his neck cold. His body was getting weaker, he could feel the last currents of electricity barely pounding through his system. He could briefly imagine that it felt like blood pumping through his hypothetical veins, that the wind was ruffling soft silky hair instead of his staticy, sharp hair. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine that he was just a human floating in the air happily, content with absolutely no worries.

But, he was not that lucky and no human could save his friends the way he could.

He shook his shoulders roughly, his fingers twitching as they gained back some feeling.

Then he was flying, flying so fast that he couldn’t see what he was doing. All he could see was the glitching out text of his inner voice and the bright light hitting glass that shattered all around him. He flew around the entire dome, doing a perfect circle.

The glass fractured and creaked loudly, But Kiibo kept flying.

He flew up and up.

Then he looked down for a split second.

At the front of what was left of the school a giant rock sat, splattered with blood making his breath catch. He immediately scanned the rest of the area, searching for movement, a familiar ahoge bouncing, pig tails trailing behind a blur of red, a hat clasped down in tiny hands. Eventually, what he got instead was some debri shifting around unnaturally. 

He watched desperately as the giant rock moved some more, just enough to show what was underneath. His body relaxed at the sight of three familiar figures huddled together and staring up at him with wide eyes.

They were safe. They were going to make it out of here.

He looked away and instead faced up to the metaphorical heavens. The center of the dome reflected the chaos from below to him and he angled his flight straight for the dot where all the lines came together. If he was lucky this would not hurt. It shouldn’t hurt, he was a robot after all, robots shouldn’t feel anything. His hand reached up and pressed one of the buttons on his abdomen. 

He seized up, feeling whatever power that was left in him surge into his flight.

Dizziness hit him in a spell and he squeezed his eyes tight, letting his arms fall down and body finally relax.

This was it.

He was going to save the others.

He was going to die.

He could sense the end was near and for a brief moment he thought he could feel something wet on his cheek. Then, everything went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any interaction is appreciated! I'm not much of a writer but I love doing it and love hearing what people think!


	4. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD this took so long to write akflhalka. I don't know why but i just could not get passed the Mikan check up part, i had like so many routes and wanted to take it but each was even more cringy then the last or revealed way to much and i just ahhhhhhh. ANYWAY its here and im pretty happy with it. Also its like obnoxiously long so sorry about that lol. I would have cut it in half but there was no good stopping points and I had like five things that I wanted to make happen in this chapter (I only ended up doing three of them lol). In other news i have decided a posting schedule, I am going to try to post a new chapter once or twice a month depending on how busy I am. I have a lot going on right now but I have been wanting to write this forever so I'm going to try to stick to it!

Kokichi shot up with a gasp.

He huffed in air and quickly stabilized his shaking arms on the bed, feeling weak under his weight like they would crack at the slightest of movements. Tremors were running through his legs as if he had just sprinted in some 5k and it hurt.  _ Everything  _ hurt.

His shoulders hunched over and he tried his best to even out his breathing, letting the terror slowly drip away from his mind.

His hair clung damply to the back of his neck and his skin felt sticky to the touch, making him grimace and kick off the cheap hospital blankets. Kokichi glared at the sight of his bruised up knees peeking out from underneath his hospital gown and with a huff, he fell back to his pillow. 

The afternoon sun peeked in through the shades of the window next to his bed lazily and eased his sensitive eyes a bit. The soft pitter patter of rain against the glass made his shoulders slowly lower back down.

With a sigh he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. He must have been dreaming something, some kind of nightmare from the way he reacted. He could briefly recall feeling panicked and having flashes of watching that damned press slowly getting closer. His breath caught in his throat a bit as some of it blinked at him tauntingly, but he pushed it away and instead focused in on his current surroundings.

Flipping onto his side with some effort, Kokichi looked around his room to better assess his situation.

He was in the hospital room, the one that smelly mechanic had dragged him to. It looked the same as before, White, apathetic walls and floors, a bathroom with no door off to the corner (for “safety” purposes), a side table with a lamp and what looked like pain killers, a dresser at the end of his bed with a miscellaneous collection of medical supplies, and finally a closed door directly across from him. The door with its blacked out window and little sign that had three flaps, one green, one orange, and one red. He had not gotten much of an explanation for those but he could guess their uses.

Kokichi had not actually gotten an explanation on anything yet.

By the time he was about halfway to the hospital, his eyes were growing heavy and his head was falling to the side out of his control. Soda had to pick him up and carry him to the first empty room they could find. The older man had laid him out on the bed and threw a blanket over him before quickly leaving and saying something about finding the nurse.

Now that he was actually awake, he needed to get up and do some exploring.

Kokichi could not let himself just sit there and wonder. 

He knew already that Hajime and Soda were at least trustworthy enough to not kill him in a moment of weakness, Hajime however had some weird things going on with him. His aforementioned “talents” and the odd way he acted as well as being in the dreamscape. All this definitely bumped Hajime up on the suspicious list.

As for the other people inhabiting the island, he was not so sure. Soda and Hajime had both mentioned in passing having played their own killing game which meant that the survivors from that game probably all lived here. If it was anything like Kokichi’s game, then there were up to 14 people roaming around this island that he has yet to meet. Or there is much less and instead there are murderers and mentally unstable people wandering around. 

Then, there were the ones Kokichi did not want to face. If he can believe what Hajime had told him, which was likely considering Miu was living proof, everyone who was in his game that had previously died was now here. He assumes they are recovering, considering how much his own body was damaged just from being in virtual reality. Not to mention the mental recovery process.

He can only assume that at least the rest of his class is indeed alive, he was not relieved by any means, it just meant he had allies if things went south.

There were other things racking his mind as well. The title Hajime had mentioned,  _ Future foundation, _ had sounded like a familiar yet forgotten name to Kokichi. He knows he has some lost memories, when he first woke up he had gotten a lot of them back. He had remembered his childhood to be much different than what Tsumugi had implanted in his mind and he also remembered flashes of something that made his insides twist uncomfortably. 

Kokichi huffed and burrowed his face into the pillow as a sudden headache rocked through his system.

As of now, he still remembered bits and pieces of it. But,  _ apparently _ trying to bring the memories back up gave him headaches. 

He also still remembered his fabricated life as if it was real. He remembered working with D.I.C.E., playing stupid pranks with them around his town. He remembers desperately wanting to be a powerful leader, remembers willingly joining the game with the others. 

Though if he thought back hard enough, faces and names became fuzzy. The features of his chosen family were meshed and blurry, important moments were  _ too _ good, too  _ false _ .

His headache grew worse, making him grumble loudly into his pillow and grab his temples. 

Massaging them slowly, he took his mind off that train of thought and went back to the original prompt.  _ Future Foundation _ , It felt like what it was, was on the tip of Kokichi’s tongue yet he couldn’t land it. What was it? Was it bad or good? What did it do? What Future is it the foundation of?

His chest twisted tight and he decided that whatever it was, he did not feel good about it. He added it to the growing list of uneasy unknowns.

With an annoyed growl, Kokichi pushed himself up and practically threw himself down into the pillow below him. Immediately letting out a wounded sound as his head screamed at him from the movement.

Future foundation. Hajime Hinata. Grease Monkey. Unnamed Nurse. Classmates. Mangled memories.

Kokichi missed the whiteboard from his room.

He wallowed into his pillow, letting his tired body sag into the bed.

While trying to figure out how he would manage to drag himself up enough to explore his new room at least, he heard the heavy door creak and soft footsteps enter. Peeking out the side of his eye, he had to withhold a grumble at the sight of yet another unrecognizable person.

She was a small, meek woman with short, unevenly chopped, purple hair. Her bangs fell in an angular swoop over round eyes that managed to make her look much younger than she actually was. She had on a t-shirt and some used looking jeans, with a nurse apron on over them, holding pens and other little utensils in its pocket. To top it all off she was holding a clipboard and an opened pen in her bandaged up hands, similar to Korekiyo’s, though it did not seem like there was anything to bandage as they hung loosely and revealed untouched pale skin underneath.

Kokichi assumed this was the aforementioned nurse everybody was talking about.

She walked up to his bed and glanced at him, meeting his eyes and smiling lightly when he eventually shuffled enough to face her. He didn’t lean up or anything, just flipped onto his back since the annoying soreness has seemed to come back.

The nurse gently reached over him and said, “H-hello, I’m Mikan Tsumiki. I-I’m going to take your heart rate and then w-w-we can get into q-questions. Alright?”

She stuttered through the entire sentence, but her face was at ease and her body language was open. Kokichi guessed that she just had some kind of speech impairment.

He nodded to her, not trusting his sore throat right now and tilted his chin up.

Her fingers were freezing cold against his skin and his neck jumped a little at the first touch. Mikan didn’t falter, instead just looked off to the corner with a calculating stare as her fingers pressed against his jugular.

After a few seconds, Mikan released him and leaned back with an easy smile. She scribbled down something on the clipboard and Kokichi breathed out heavily, feeling much more at ease now that he didn’t have to think about his breathing.

“O-ok… your h-heart rate is n-n-normal which is good. Now I’m j-just going to ask y-yo-you some questions t-t-to assess y-your mental s-state, ok?”

Kokichi frowned a bit but nodded nonetheless. He didn’t really want to have to sit through an assessment, he was fine and had managed up until now. The killing game definitely fucked him up a bit but he had always managed on his own better, when people tried to get involved and help things would just end badly.

Or at least he thinks that's what used to happen, that idea might just be an implanted thought. Even when it happened in the game it could have been fake because he was just going off who he thought he was. But, he didn’t seem that much different personality wise so a lot of things must have stayed true to him.

His headache grew worse.

Mikan smiled and clicked the pen in her hand twice before starting, “Alright, w-we’ll start easy. What’s t-the last thing y-you remember from y-y-your game?”

“Dying.” 

Mikan’s face fell a bit and her eyebrows curved over her eyes in a hesitant look. She looked at him for a few moments before slowly writing down the answer onto her clipboard. With a clipped sigh, she brought up a flashing smile again and said, “I-I see. D-due to our c-c-c-connection to the game, W-we know about the d-details of y-your… death. As w-well as the trial p-proceeding it, s-so do not feel pressured to answer a-anything now. But, you m-may have to soon, alright?”

Kokichi nodded and forced himself to sit up a little, the pillow behind him easing the immediate pain that followed the movement.

Mikan continued easily after taking in his response, “Do y-y-you have any p-parts of the game that y-you don’t remember?”

Kokichi looked off to the side and thought for a moment. He remembers the melodramatic first trial, the revealing second trial, the uncomfortable third trial, the fourth trial, and then he remembers going through with his plan at the end. Nothing else really happened, just death, investigation, trial, death, investigation, trial.

Nothing else, except… Kokichi shook his head and finally answered the patiently waiting Mikan, “I remember everything from the game.”

Mikan’s smile grew and she happily wrote down his answer, Kokichi had to wonder if any of the others forgot bits of the game. He could imagine a few of them had traumatic enough experiences that their mind would block it out.

Mikan once again cut through his wandering thoughts by happily chirping, “g-great! That i-is a g-good sign. Ok, n-now for the h-h-hard p-part. M-most of the others t-that woke up l-later in the game, s-struggle to r-remember their p-past right away s-so don’t feel p-p-p-pressured to force i-it.”

She looked to him searching for something so Kokichi nodded mutely already getting more than annoyed with her doting.

Mikan hesitated before continuing meekly, “a-alright, What do y-you remember f-from y-your a-a-actual past? F-f-feel free to g-go in c-c-c-chronological order if t-that helps a-at all.”

Kokichis head twisted cruelly as a reminder of how much he  _ doesn’t _ remember but he pushed through it. He knew he remembered little things, he had flashes of an orphanage, faded moments in school, scratchy phases of running from something. But, it just cuts out around the time he would be going to highschool, he briefly can imagine idolizing some green haired kid but that's it.

He told Mikan as much and she simply just nodded, writing down his answer yet again.

Kokichi almost expected a bigger reaction, he was not that perturbed by the fact that his memories were gone but he expected to at least get a worried stare or  _ something _ .

Mikan finished writing and then gently set the forms down on his bedside table while announcing, “o-ok, I’m g-going to leave t-this here for H-Hajime to g-g-go over later. F-for now I-I’m g-going to gather u-up the things for a r-r-regular physical e-exam. I w-will also have to d-draw some b-blood so we can make sure y-your vitals are all c-c-correct. W-we can do that l-last.”

Kokichi nodded and watched as she walked over to a set up on the wall. It had gloves and random boxers sticking out of it, with a fancy little cartoon stethoscope drawn on. Mikan grabbed the smallest set of gloves and slipped them on over her bandages oddly enough. Kokichi followed with his eyes as she slowly started to gather medical things onto a cart from around the room.

Eventually, growing bored of the silence he asked, “So, that weirdo is coming over here later for… what exactly?”

Mikan paused in reaching up to grab what looked like a thermometer and briefly turned to him asking, “Y-you mean, H-Hajime?”

“Yeah. that guy”

Kokichi knew his name, he was just getting back into his norm of insulting any annoyances. Hajime was currently number two on that list, right below the grease monkey.

Mikan breathed a shaky laugh and dropped back to her heels saying, “y-y-yes, he has h-his daily session w-with K-Korekiyo first, t-then I believe h-he has a weekly s-session with Ryoma a-as well, h-he will probably a-also make a call t-to Nagito too s-since he has been s-stressed out r-recently. But, then he will c-come and give y-you a m-more intense mental e-exam and g-give Kaito t-the same.”

Kokichi nodded a bit, already dreading the idea of having to answer more probing questions and having an inevitable headache.

His mind quickly moved from it though to focus on the familiar name Mikan mentioned.  _ Nagito _ . Why was that name so familiar? There was nobody in his game that had that name unless he completely forgot one person. He doubts he recognizes it from his false memories and he doesn’t remember names from his actual memories…

The wheels of the cart squeaked as Mikan pushed it over to the side of his bed and began to arrange things in her own order. He watched as her hands methodically organized and asked, “who’s Nagito?”

Mikan paused again, her eyes went wide and strangely, something akin to fear passed over her face. Kokichi blinked as she quickly turned away and walked to the door saying, “a-ah, I-I-I think I f-f-forgot s-s-something I-I’ll be r-r-right back!”

With that, she opened the door and was gone leaving Kokichi sitting in his bed more than a little bewildered.

He blinked a little and looked away from the empty hall and closed the door across from his. 

Mikan’s reaction was… odd. He would guess that this Nagito is some kind of bad guy or something, that he had done something terrible. But, that didn’t quite make sense either because Mikan said Hajime would call Nagito to presumably calm down. None of this helped in Kokichi figuring out their familiarity either.

If Hajime was close to Nagito and he apparently remembered Nagito somehow, he would have to remember Hajime too. Unless they became close after Kokichi knew or heard of Nagito. 

For whatever reason, the more he thought about it the more the title  _ servant _ came to mind. If he had to guess, Kokichi would say that he was not well off enough in life to have a servant but there is a possibility that he knew someone who might have been. So maybe that’s what it was, maybe Nagito was the servant of someone he knew at one point.

His shoulders tensed slightly as a flash of tall, long haired man holding another sick looking one on a leash made its way to his mind.

It was gone as fast as it came but it left Kokichi feeling uneasy. He definitely knew those people, how he wasn’t sure, but he knew them and frankly he doesn’t think he liked them.

Maybe the white haired one was Nagito?

Hushed whispers pulled Kokichi out of his thoughts and made him look up in the direction of the sounds.

There in the corner of the doorway, a tall woman stood facing away from him. She had long blonde hair that was tied into a loose braid, with a gaudy bow sitting on top. She was dressed much fancier than the others he had seen so far, wearing a short greenish dress and petite, red heels. She seemed to be talking to someone, but the way she was positioned, Kokichi couldn’t see who it was he could only hear the quiet responses she got.

After a moment or two Kokichi saw a flash of green walk the other way and felt his stomach twist, then the tall woman was turning to face him with a bright smile.

She glided into the room and made it to the side of his bed before he could even register her presence. 

With a very diplomatic aura around her, she knelt over enough to reach out for Kokichi's hand. Taking it off the bed, she shook it formally while saying with a thick accent, “Hello, I am Sonia Nevermind. You are Kokichi Ouma, yes?”

Kokichi frowned at her and slowly pulled his hand out of her surprisingly strong grip. He looked her up and down, confirming that yes she was very well dressed, even had hints of makeup on, and said, “uh, yeah. Who was that you were with?”

He glanced back to the doorway thinking that maybe who he thought he saw had wandered back but Sonia jumped back into his view and chirped, “Oh that was no one! Just my assistant.”

Kokichi felt his eyebrows raise as he skeptically asked, “assistant?”

Sonia’s face barely even faltered as she nodded firmly and confirmed, “Indeed, my assistant.”

She leaned up and continued on before he could say anything further, “Now, where has our lovely nurse wandered off to? She was giving you a check up, correct?”

Kokichi nodded wondering the same thing, telling Sonia, “She left looking like she had seen a ghost and hasn’t come back yet.”

Sonia’s face fell a bit and her voice sounding sincere as she asked, “oh my… do you know what happened, by chance? Mikan is not one to usually run off during check ups.”

Kokichi shrugged indifferently but eyed Sonia while saying, “dunno, I just asked her who.. This Na-gee-toe she mentioned was and she ran off.”

Sonia blinked with a small, “oh”

Kokichi watched her, wondering if she would try to escape as well or play it off as nothing. But instead she just looked down and folded her hands, almost looking sad or mournful. Had this guy died? No, because Hajime would be calling him today, so maybe he just got injured or something.

Sonia let out a delicate sigh after a moment and looked back to him while saying, “My apologies, my brother is a bit of a hard topic for all of us but Mikan particularly. Him being gone for so long doesn’t help that situation either.”

Kokichi leaned back against his pillows as he had pushed off of them when Sonia barged in, and asked, “Brother? You’re Nagito’s sister?”

Sonia’s smile came back in full force and she happily said, “Yes, we were separated when young, but as he likes to say, luck decided to bring us back together.”

“To answer your question, Nagito is my brother and Hajime’s fiance, he was once the ultimate lucky student but now he is a worker for the future foundations recovery department like the rest of us. He travels with some of the higher ups and helps in the search for the Warriors of Hope as well as other children in Towa who got left behind after the tragedy.”

Kokichi nodded and took all that in. It answered a few of his questions, Hajime and Nagito were engaged _ does Hajime know about the long haired man? _ , Sonia was related to him  _ how’d they get back together after being separated? _ , Nagito was currently in Towa  _ where is that? _ , and he is also a part of the future foundation  _ still not sure what that is. _

Kokichi flicked at his nails and asked, “He was an ultimate?”

Sonia nodded, “yes, he and all of the others from the game I was in were. Except for… well I guess he technically is now.”

Sonia tapped at her chin in thought before seemingly deciding something and continuing, “yes. Nagito, I, and the others were all considered ultimates.”

“How many of you are there, here?”

Easily Sonia answered, “sixt-” her face blanked slightly before going back to the easy smile, “fifteen. There are fifteen of us here. Including the kids from your game that have woken up make it now twenty six.” with a short laugh she added, “our little island is getting quite crowded!”

Kokichi opened his mouth to ask more questions seeing as Sonia was willing to answer but was cut off by Mikan stumbling back into the room. Sonia turned just in time to catch the other mid fall in a strong grip.

Mikan squeaked and spewed out apologies as Sonia delicately pushed her back up to her feet.

“Ahh, I-I am s-so sorry S-S-Sonia-san!”

“It’s alright Mikan, I’m just glad I was here to catch you before you possibly hit your head, again.”

Mikan sniffled and thanked Sonia.

Kokichi watched them carry on for a moment before clearing his throat and gaining back the women's attention.

Sonia was still holding Mikan’s shoulder as they turned, so after a moment of surprise, she patted her back and with a smile said, “ah, well I should take my leave. Ra- err my… my assistant is waiting for me to help gather up everyone’s lunch and you,” Mikan squeaked as Sonia patted her shoulder enough to send her stumbling again, “need to finish up with Kokichi before Hajime wanders over.”

Mikan nodded and softly said, “o-o-ok”

Sonia turned back to him and lifted her hand up into a very queenly wave while happily saying, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Kokichi. If you ever have any more questions feel free to ask me or Hajime.”

Kokichi waved back as best he could and said, “yeah.. Pleasure.”

She smiled brightly and with a swoosh of her dress and tap of her heels she was out the door.

Mikan fumbled with her fingers a bit before she turned back to Kokichi with a hesitant smile.

He didn’t return it, instead he just raised his eyebrows and glanced at the medical supplies before meeting her eyes again. She seemed to get the idea and quickly shuffled forward.

Kokichi was starting to feel exhaustion creeping up on him again from all this interaction, so he wanted to get this exam over with already. Plus, all the new information was making his headache worse, not better.

Mikan picked up a stethoscope and placed it in her ears, she grabbed the main reading part and turned to him saying quietly, “o-o-ok I’m just g-g-going to lift y-your shirt briefly. I-it will be cold”

He lifted up his arms and watched as she pressed the stethoscope up on his chest. As she went quiet with her examination, Kokichi looked off to the side in thought. 

Something clicked when he was talking to Sonia about Nagito. He’s already determined that Nagito was the crazy white haired guy on the leash, now he knows he was also an ultimate, has a sister, a fiance, a job, friends that miss him. 

He sounds undeniably  _ normal _ . But, Kokichi just feels odd when thinking about him. 

It's a similar feeling to what he gets when thinking about the future foundation, he's not sure what either are but he knows he doesn’t like them.

Shaking his head, he shifted to let Mikan reach behind him and press the cold metal to his back. She asked him quietly to breathe in and out, so he did so slowly, noting the pain residing in his shoulders.

Mikan sighed after a moment and pulled back, she dropped the earphone things down to her shoulders and moved to a thermometer looking thing. 

She scanned his mouth and ears, passed a flashlight over his eyes, tapped his knees and wrists with a medical hammer, stuck a thermometer under his tongue, and finally gave him a quick shot for blood work.

He tried his best to not wince when the needle pricked his skin, Mikan made an apologetic sound and held his arm a little tighter.

She finished up and grabbed the clipboard. Her hand quickly moved on the page and the pencil scritched unpleasantly against his ears. She took a few minutes to write everything down and then she dropped the pencil into the pocket over her apron and with a smile, said, “Alright, w-we’re all done! U-u-um Hajime w-will be a few m-more minutes, is the-there anything I-I can do for y-y-you while w-we wait?”

Kokichi let himself fall back into the cool embrace of his pillows and dropped his head back to close his eyes. There were more than a few things he wanted right now, but Hajime was going to be here soon with his own questions which means any big things would be too long. 

After a moment of thought, he glanced at Mikan and asked, “Could you get me a notebook and some pens?”

Her eyebrows raised minutely and she looked like she wanted to ask for his reasonings. 

She ended up just smiling instead, with a small nod she excused herself from the room. Kokichi watched as she made it almost all the way to the door before tripping over and falling in a position that made his cheeks grow red.

He snuggled down into the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut while she squeaked out an apology and darted out of the room.

Peeking his eyes open, he relaxed once he saw that he was safe from seeing things he most definitely did not want to  _ ever _ see.

The warmth gathering under the blankets from his own body heat was a welcome embrace for him to ease into as he waited for the nurse to return. He was not planning on falling back asleep yet, just resting his eyes. But, the words of his racing thoughts started to jumble together, his sentences morphed into blurry images of what were maybe memories.

A paper wrinkling under his pen.

His ankles getting splashed with rain water as he runs through a dark street.

A cold hand wrapping around his own protectively.

Bright, blue eyes twinkling with electricity.

Kokichi woke with a start as he felt a nudge on his shoulder.

Mikan was standing next to him with an apologetic smile, a notebook, and a bundle of colorful pens in her hand. She released his shoulder and explained, “I-I would have l-l-let you sleep but if y-you sleep the d-day away y-y-you will be up a-all night.”

“... That doesn’t sound that bad.”

Mikan’s mouth quirked up in amusement as she handed the items to him. 

The notebook was small, barely bigger than his hand but it was thick with unused pages so he figured he could make it work. It even had a thin line of fabric dancing next to it as a built in bookmark. The small notebook was discarded in his lap and he grabbed the handful of pens. They looked like cheap glitter pens, the ink twinkling at him through the clear plastic. It was a rainbow set with all the basic colors.

He grabbed the light blue one and flicked it open, the cap falling somewhere on the bed next to him. Mikan watched for a moment as he opened the first page and scribbled on it to make sure the pen works. They both watched blue ink spread across the page lightly before the nurse softly sighed and interrupted, “H-Hajime will be here any minute, U-usually I wait f-for him but t-there was an accident w-with one of the others f-from their work on t-the new cottages, so I-I have to go to that. Will y-you be alright on y-y-your own for a few m-minutes?”

He nodded and answered, “Yeah, I’ll manage”

Mikan smiled and turned to start gathering up her things, “Alright! T-then I’ll h-head out. If y-you need anything t-there is a b-button to y-your left that you can push to c-call someone in.”

Kokichi looked over to his left and sure enough there was a button, it looked out of place with the rest of his bed. He can guess that it was installed later on. 

Mikan said her goodbyes and then gently shut the door behind her leaving him once again in silence.

He leaned up carefully, not wanting to get anymore sharp pains shooting up his back. He should ask about that, no one mentioned that he would be feeling this much pain after waking up and if it was really all a simulation then there should not be any left over injuries. Though he swears he still has a sensitive spot on his head from when he fell in the floorboards.

He pulled the softest pillow he could find out of the stack of pillows and positioned so that he could lean back into it. With some struggle and withheld winces, he managed to pull up his knees so that he could bring up the notebook to where he could comfortably write in it.

The paper was soft against his fingers, or maybe his hands were just overly calloused, as he flipped to the second page as the first was now scribbled all over. The paper luckily was loose leaf so he had lines to list things out on.

He grabbed the blue pen again, this time slipping the cap onto the bottom of the pen before spinning it in his fingers. He thought for a moment before deciding to just start listing from the beginning and then he can divy things out later.

_ Future foundation _

Kokichi drew a thick line underneath that and stuck the end of the pen in his mouth unthinkingly. 

He had learned a few new things about it but still not enough to come up with any solid conclusions. All he really knew was that the foundation was somehow at the head of this whole set up, Hajime, Soda, Sonia, Mikan, and Nagito have all been said to work for the foundation's  _ recovery department _ . So, he wrote that down with the added possibility that everyone on this island worked for that department.

He also scribbled in some questions.

_ What is my connection to it? _

_ Who runs it? _

_ Why are they in charge? _

_ What future are they founding and is it safe? _

He scanned over what he had before nodding and moving onto the next topic.

_ Island inhabitants _

Another thick line drawn underneath that.

He decided to write them down in numerical order, starting with the most trustworthy so far and ending in the least trustworthy. 

For the first number he just put in his classmates as a whole, there were plenty of them that he would probably never  _ actually _ trust. But, in this situation, they were all people he was familiar with. He could read all of them and guess their motivations easier. Kokichi knew that if push came to shove they would be the ones to turn to and use. Plus, if someone ever got into this notebook, it would give him brownie points to have them, his  _ friends _ , as the number one on the list. 

Just to add to that thought, he clarified in the corner what the list signified.

Next he wrote in order the new people he had met.

Sonia was the lucky number two spot. He didn’t get much of a read on her but she didn’t seem to be hiding anything either. She answered all of his questions without hesitation and from the way she acted he guessed she wouldn’t hide anything from him out of pity. 

Next was Mikan. She was strange to say the least, but so far she had plenty of chances to injure him in some way and didn’t. Plus, she was the resident nurse and that is always a good person to have on your side. He probably would have put her higher if it had not been for the way she reacted to being asked about Nagito.

Unlucky three went to the grease monkey, Kokichi doodled a little monkey with a wrench next to his actual name with amusement. He seemed pretty unassuming and to not know much, follower not a leader. Kokichi could trust him to be useful (probably) if he got on his good side.

Next was the unknown group, in other words the eleven others that Sonia had mentioned lived on the island. He did not write much about them, rather he just left a large space to fill in their names on the list as he met them. This thought led him to flipping to the next page momentarily and writing down the names of everybody he had met so far just to not forget them. He flipped back to the original page and starred number four.

He was quickly running out of room on this page, so he scribbled in on the bottom the two apparent lovebirds for the bottom number. Hajime Hinata and Nagito Komaeda. Nagito probably deserved a spot in the unknown area but Kokichi felt like he needed his own spot, there were too many lost feelings bumping around his head because of him to list him off. Hajime on the other hand, he knew well enough and has decided that he doesn't trust him as far as he could throw him.

Finally he scribbled to the side:  _ tall, long haired guy from memory? _

He scribbled a couple of question marks around that and then flipped to the next page. He can think more on that one later.

Holding the book at an awkward angle since he had already written on the page facing him with his list of names, he wrote down his next topic.

_ In game memories v. actual memories _

He drew the line in extra thick under that. 

Kokichi dropped his pen beside him and grabbed the flimsy page, folding it down the middle to form two separate columns. He briefly remembers having to do this for school, but the memory was gone as fast as it came, much to his disappointment. 

With a black pen he drew a line down the fold to make it more pronounced before getting the blue pen again and making bullet points on the first side. 

  * _DICE_


  * Growing up in the orphanage


  * Never knew parents/siblings


  * Became ultimate supreme leader


  * Got put into hope peaks juvenile facility


  * Gave up talent


  * Joined game with the rest of his classmates willingly


  * In space???


  * World dead?


  * Lasts survivors??


  * Woke up hundred years after the population died out??


  * Died


  * Kaito failed plan



Kokichi barely noted that he was trembling as a laugh bubbled out of him. He never realised just how  _ stupid _ everything was at the end there. Even just thinking that he had managed to believe all that made up bullshit about the apocalypse and doomsday stuff, it made him fall back into his pillows and laugh hard enough for his chest to start aching.

It was so  _ stupid _ .

_ He _ was so stupid.

He had really thought that what he did had meant something. He had thought that maybe, just  _ maybe _ , he could be the hero, could save the day, end the game. He didn’t even care about the others, Kokichi had assumed like everyone else that they were all doomed to die anyway. Kaito, Maki, Himiko, Shuichi, Himself, even Kiibo who by all standards should be able to outlive them all. 

He just wanted to be remembered as the  _ hero. _ The person who at the last moment gave up his life for his enemies.

He laughed even harder, pretending to not feel the stinging behind his eyes.

_ None _ of it mattered. He was never the hero, not even the villain. None of it was real, all just some simulation made up by some crazy bitch who had a hard on for despair. Nothing from the game was real, the death’s, the heartbreaks, the scowls he got, the laughs he pulled out, the gifts given, the gifts taken and abused, Shuichis stupid self discovery, Kaito’s dramatic arc, Maki’s secret love, Kirumis revealing past, Ryoma’s non existent past, Gonta and Miu’s death, Kiibo’s unrelenting positivity. It was all  _ fake _ .

Even that  _ fucking _ hydraulic press was fake. The button. The poison. The arrow in his arm and back. 

His breath was shaky as his throat closed up around the rest of the laughter wanting to bubble out. His eyes burned but he held them closed and willed away the tears threatening to boil out.

He’s not going to cry. Kokichi Ouma doesn’t cry. The  _ Ultimate Supreme Leader _ does not cry.

With a harsh sigh, he grabbed the edge of his sleeve and roughly wiped underneath his eyes, the sensitive skin stinging in response.

Feeling stupid, he picked the pen back up and scribbled in the rest of his memories, old and new. As he finished up his cat scratch a knock came to the door, making him snap the book shut and stuff it under his pillow on instinct.

The person on the other side did not wait for a response and rather opened the door without much preamble. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys liked this chapter please let me know! All and any interaction is appreciated especially on my fanfics, i work really hard on them so seeing them get noticed always makes me do uwu


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